Kids Say Things At The Darndest Times

These are real things said in real situations by my very real children.

In the van while I'm driving:
-i need a drink right now!
-can you tie my shoe? (let me get out my other 3 arms)
-can you get my underwear out of my butt? (no. get your own underwear out of your butt)
-can you go back? i saw a turkey (why yes, of course dear. i'll turn around right now)
-I want a high five
-can you reach my finger? (i'm inspector gadget)
-help me get my shirt off!(because thats important right now)


While I'm in the bathroom:
-can you get me a drink? (yes, let me just dunk that cup you're holding in the toilet while i pee)
-i need more dinner (yes...they're carrying a plate with them)

-I need to poop...NOW!

-where are my shoes/book/cup/that toy i lost last year...etc
-i brought you a spider

-I need to see your teeth


While I'm Sleeping:
-WIPE MY BUTT!!
-I NEED LOTION!
-WHERES MY KITTY?!
-WHY DOES ASHER SLEEP WITH YOU?!
-WHY DOES DADDY GO TO WORK!
-WHATS FOR BREAKFAST!?
-I NEED A DRINK!
-I NEED MEDICINE!
-WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?!
-WHY IS IT DARK?!

-WHY DO I HAVE A BELLY BUTTON?!

While Nursing Asher

-carry me

-you need to wash the floor

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