Wednesday, October 31, 2012

7 gross ways to save money

1. the first and most obviously is stop taking showers. think about this. you shower every day or every other day. if you cut it down to once a week you'd be saving so much water! the only problem is you might have to buy more deoderant so use sparingly
2. make reusable toilet paper
everyone's doing it
3. if you can't afford costly cloth diaper sets just let your kids run around naked.
outside is preferable
4. if its yellow let it mellow if its brown...scoop it out and throw it in the woods
see! never have to flush the toilet again
bam. money saved on the water bill
5. save your toenail clippings and use as a firestarter
6. learn the fine art of the snot rocket and don't buy kleenex ever again
7. and finally we have come to the one i actually do. don't wash your hair. go poo free. all i use is baking soda once a week. so hmm...lets see. a bottle of shampoo is $3 (even back then i was cheap) and a huge bag of baking soda that will last me forever is $5something. and my showers are super short
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Monday, October 29, 2012

robert shaw

15 ways to ruin your child and your life
taken from robert shaw's the epidemic
just a little something to think about today
"1. Don’t plan ahead. Don’t think early on about arranging a secure home in which to raise a child. Especially, don’t pick a husband or wife with character traits that would make him or her a true partner and supporter as you rear your children.

2. Leave your infant to be raised by an inadequate and unconnected caretaker for too many hours.

3. Keep yourself stressed and busy. Be exhausted when you come home. It’s especially effective to feel guilty about being away.

4. Give in to your child’s whims on everything and demand nothing in return. That will make up for the neglect.

5. Facilitate your child’s ascent into the world of consumerism. Accommodate his endless urges for the latest, coolest, most attractive, most superficial things.

6. Let your child think he is the boss of the universe. That way you can avoid frustrating or regulating his.

7. Live without thoughts of the larger meaning of your life and your child’s life.

8. Don’t subscribe to a code of ethics or morals that can override your own impulses – and definitely don’t expose your child to such a code.

9. Be sure your three- or four-year-old child sleeps in your bed, suckles, wears disposable underwear, and is pushed around in a stroller while you get your exercise.

10. Don’t supervise your children’s relationships.

11. Let your child enjoy all the TV, videos, and video games he wants.

12. Act as though your child is on his own already.

13. Don’t take her out for genuine, loving times together with no interruptions. Don’t just hang out and have fun- it’s also effective for children to have their days scheduled to the minute.

14. Don’t mess with your child’s relationship to sex, drugs tobacco and alcohol.

15. Never give your child chores or expect her to be a partner in running the house. "
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Saturday, October 13, 2012

a short(ish) story about food

we'll start from the beginning.
i was breastfed.
of course.
i was raised by a crunchy momma who fed us homemade everything, whole wheat bread that she ground the flour for herself, barley grass drinks, very little sugar, herbs from the garden, etc etc. we even chewed on sticks....for fun.
for this i am extremely thankful
(thanks mom)
then i started working when i was 15
and i started eating like crap
i'm pretty sure i lived on protein bars and diet coke for about 3 years
then i went on a carrot and mustard kick for several months
then i switched from diet coke to coffee
lots and lots and LOTS of coffee
ever drank so much coffee that you got tired?
yeah. at least once a week for me
i had problems
when i was 17 i looked awful, felt was awful
then i met these 2 girls and they said "you look awful" and they got me on this vitamin drink their mom sold
all i can say is wow
and also that i'm still taking it
every day.
i went to college
gained a few pounds
lost alot more pounds during christmas break
when chris and i started dating i was a stick
he fattened me up to a big ol size 3
our first grocery purchase when we got married: a case of coke for chris, a case of diet coke for me, and a box of trix.
yes. its true.
and disgusting.
then 20 minutes later i was pregnant...although i didn't know it until 2 weeks later
then chris got laid off
we got poor
we immediately started eating brown rice and beans like they were going out of style
thats where the switch happened
we went vegetarian simply to cut the grocery bill down
waaaay down
i knew i had to grow a baby so i stopped eating crap
chris wasn't as convinced
then i started eating to run
it was all about the protein
and longer runs
longer and longer
till i was up to 10miles at a time
until i found out i was pregnant with hank
then i threw up
and quit running
reed turned 1
had his first anaphylactic reaction to dairy
this is where things got crazy (as most of you know)
now we eat ridiculously healthy
like, bird food healthy
we went from trix and diet coke to getting rid of all processed food, dairy, eggs, wheat, nuts, fish, refined sugar, juice, pop, beer (except sometimes i let chris get some bud), GMO's, meat with antibiotics and hormones etc
not that all those things are bad, thats just what we do to keep our 2 year old alive
so. all this to say we didn't always eat like we do now
you TOO can make a change
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Friday, October 12, 2012

5 things you should never feed your kids (or yourself)

ok when i say "never" i mean most like "hardly ever"
in a perfect world none of these things would exist...but sadly. they do. and your kids are going to want them. know when to say no.
and don't give me crap like "oh but they whined for 10 minutes and stomped their feet so i had to"
here's a thought. stop letting them watch TV all the time and their little minds wont be flooded with commercials that are advertising crapfood. yeah. try that. put them outside.
obviously its not going to kill your kid (unless you're reed) to give them something bad once in a while. but don't make a habit out of feeding them this crap. i don't think we will ever be able to bring ourselves to consume 1,2,4, or 5 again. but there's still a possibility for 3.
10 most sugary cereals
1. cereal
yeah. just don't do it. empty carbs. sugar. food dye.
oh but your cereal is fortified with ironfibervitaminF you say? guess what, what food manufacturers use to fortify processed foods can't be used by your body anyways so it does you no good. if you'd eat food in its original natural form to begin with you wouldn't need this so called "fortification" anyways.
use your noggin
believe it or not, there ARE other things to eat for breakfast
2. anything that you can pull out of a wrapper and stick in the microwave or toaster
just get rid of your microwave. it solves alot of problems. including the alteration of the proteins in your food. yes. microwaves alter your food into something your body can't use. it might look the same (or mostly the same) when you take it out, but its molecular structure has been changed.
3. juice
give them water. they WILL survive without a glass of sugar
4. pop
stats say that the average teenager drinks about 6 cans a day. A DAY! don't do it.
5. fast food
this should be a no brainer
but just in case you're not convinced and you need something to really gross you out
if you eat fast're getting hairs from...umm...down there. if you catch my drift.
yeah. nasty
plus bad fat, sugar (always with the sugar. its everywhere) bleached flour, more bad fat, MSG
now here's the thing. it is easier for us to not keep junk in our house for 2 reasons: we are used to it and most of it could almost kill reed. but that said, you are the parent. if you say "no" then that means no. trust me, kids will eat all kinds of stuff when they're hungry. even broccoli and beans.
 what?! its true.
healthy food does NOT have to be boring or gross and they CAN learn to love it
your child does NOT have to be in the 70% that has beginnings of coronary artery disease before the age of 20
ask yourself some questions about your kids
are they hyper?
do they not sleep well?
do they get headaches?
do they have trouble focusing?
do they get angry for no apparent reason?
do they have heart burn?
before throwing uppers, downers, and prescriptions down their throats, check their diet. alot can be solved with proper nutrition. i know its work and it will take some effort on your part to help them see they need to change their habits and learn self control but its a far better option than chemicals ontop of the chemicals they are already consuming
of course this isn't always the case. there are still chemical imbalances that happen. but really...why do you think the 5.2 million kids in the US are all eating diets that don't include large amounts of sugar, food dye, and additives? i don't think so.
i don't think most people realize how much of their future is affected by what they put in their bodys as children
2/3 of our kids have high cholesterol. KIDS!
40% of kids age 5-8 have at least 1 risk factor for heart disease
bad food = bad grades
in a world where many parents are obsessed with their kids grades, this is an important thing
if your kid is constantly having sugar crashes and highs they get cranky, can't focus, and are tired for no reason
you try studying or remembering things when you're malnourished
not easy
ok i could go on and on...and on and on...but ill stop now.
go get yourself a carrot and a glass of water and have a great day 
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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

dear girls

dear girls:
pretending to have such an absurd fear of clowns that you're going to have a panic attack isn't cute
nobody really likes them. they're gross. but really? a panic attack? screaming? nobody thinks thats attractive.
 i hope you get ankle problems at 30 and start limping. sorry. thats mean. but i know that 98% of our girls are NOT pigeon toed. you're not 8 anymore. so stop. you really might hurt yourself one day.
you're full on a celery stick?
nobody thinks thats cool
ooo. good for you! you're giving yourself heart failure, anemia, and your hair might even fall out. lucky you. everyone will totally want to be your friend....when you're DEAD
i'm confused by the way you're standing? are you doing some kind of weird stretch and touching your hip bone to your armpit? i mean really. this is a serious question. i don't understand why you're standing like that.
if you're cold. thats fine. if you're not cold but you're always talking about how you're ALWAYS cold you will have no friends. just kidding. but seriously...its annoying. bring a jacket.
your whole life revolves around getting a boyfriend/husband? in 10 years you're going to look back and how much energy you wasted on that one. wait for it girls.
so hot right now
please continue to paint craploads of makeup on your face. just don't get near me because if some of it falls off on my clothes i'll be pissed. that crap doesn't come out in the wash. p.s. do YOU even know what you really look like? i doubt you even remember.
pretending to be dumb is stupid. yep. stupid. and annoying. you're smarter than you're acting.
you are strong
don't sell yourself short
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