Wednesday, November 14, 2012

midwives and my reasons why

just kidding i didn't but some people do
its official
i have insurance
which means i can go see my midwife on friday
which also means i will tell you all why i choose midwives and NOT a doctor
who knows. there may come a time in my life when i have to actually see an OB but i'm praying that is never the case
here are some reasons i choose midwives
1. she will be there the entire time you are in labor. there's no leaving the room for hours to go grab dinner or go to sleep
 no coming in at the last second to catch the baby....or even possibly missing it all together. nope.
 she's there.
 the whole time. and she rocks.
for my last birth my midwife went home when she decided i wasn't in active labor. then 20 minutes later i WAS in active labor and she turned right around and came back and stuck with me the whole time
its pretty much almost like having a doula. although my mom now helps out with coaching too. except with hank...hank came too fast and my poor mother stood in the corner not knowing what to do. and now chris knows what to do.
one thing he should NOT do is ask if he can go pee right when i start pushing
nope. he'll never live that one down.
2. midwives will be as non-invasive as you want them to be. they allow you to be off the monitors and walk around if everything is going fine. they encourage moving in fact.
 they also wont check dilation ever 5 seconds
3. if you want natural they're going to give you natural. they will not pressure you into early induction just because. even if you say "i'm sick of being pregnant" theyre not going to induce unless there is a legit medical reason. and i mean legit. they know the risks involved in inducing a baby before its ready: c-section, stress on the baby, stress on the mom. all that not awesome stuff.
they also wont pressure you into an epidural just because they're tired of hearing you yelling and swearing
4. she's not going to get tired of coaching you and helping you through labor and say "you're not progressing fast enough. lets do a c-section". progressing fast enough for who? sorry you missed your 9pm movie doc, but i was busy having a baby. nope. she will let things happen how they're going to happen
5. she (at least mine) will encourage yelling during the nasty nasty contractions. especially during transition.
 "yell away my dear"
6. she will not make you lie on your back with your feet in stirrups while you push. nope. we all know thats not natural anyways.
you can do it in any position you want. if birthing your baby while squating on the floor feels like the best way in the moment, go for it!
you want to use a birthing stool?
go for it.
you want to have bob marley playing in the background while pushing your kid out?
go for it
7. she will remind you over and over that you are a woman and your body was made for this. that you do not need modern medical help (most of the time) to get this child into the world. you don't need drugs and forceps and vacuums and IVs and knives and Lord knows what else.
nope. just a good old fashioned uterus and a wall to punch and a husbands hand to break and you're ready to roll
33% of all deliveries are c sections
being induced doubles your chance of having a c section
having an epidural slows down your labor in most cases which then will require pitocin....which as we already know, doubles the csection chances
hospitals get between $700 and $1200 for an epidural. hmm. i wonder why doctors are so big on talking moms into them
midwives do not like any of this
they are 100% about the laboring woman in front of them
don't let a doctor talk you into believing that childbirth is un natural and crazy to try without help
ever watched the business of being born? you probably should. it will make you angry.
also read spiritual midwifery. it will probably mostly make you laugh but its actually an awesome book. hippies rock.
so unless you can find the rare doctor that will actually treat you like a human mother, i suggest rethinking your next baby.
but thats just me
oh. and for those of you who have asked about home births and why we don't?
its simple.
we're a half hour away from the hospital and i could never forgive myself if something went wrong and we didn't make it in time
otherwise i would be down my the creek having my babies every time
i said it
in the creek
i might even put the child in a freshly gutted deer to keep them warm while i took a bite out of the placenta
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  1. I love the end of your post about the creek and deer! Made my day! I'm very proud to have delivered our son naturally even if it wasn't the plan. It was quick,I screamed and he came out fast! My nurse and Patrick both looked at each other confused/shocked that I progressed so fast. I was even nice enough to apologize for my screaming afterward!

  2. Great post, and I'm with you 100%. We live five minutes away from a hospital so are aiming for a homebirth. Our midwives are also based within a five minute walk from our house. I've really enjoyed getting to know them and am enjoying the whole process.