Monday, December 2, 2013

Husband first, kids second

There's a cute little poster floating around the internet with a saying something along the lines of "if all you've done today is play with your kids, you've accomplished enough and can totally ignore everything else going on and all your other responsibilities as a wife and mother"
There are flowers and rainbows and kids and mothers frolicking in a field of flowers.
Ok, maybe that's not exactly what it says.
A bunch of people "pinned" it on pinterest a while back but of course I couldn't find it anywhere today. You're just going to have to believe me.
If you couldn't already tell, I do not agree with this "cute" little saying one bit.
Actually its kind of been bugging me that moms believe this garbage.
Sure, play with your kids. Hug your kids. Be there for your kids.
Teach your kids, love your kids, pray for your kids. Don't forget the parts of Proverbs 31 that don't even talk about kids at all.
If all I did all day was hug my babies, read books to them, and play whatever they wanted to play, a few things would happen: my home would fall apart, my husband would be upset and not like to come home, my family would not have real food to eat, nobody would have clean clothes (which is hard enough to keep up with as it is), not to mention my kids would be rotten little monsters and they wouldn't have any idea how to "free play" or whatever they're calling it these days. Back in my day it was just called "playing".
In a perfect world, all mothers would also be wives. I realize this isn't always true but for the sake of this post, lets assume that is the case.
Mothers were wives first.
This means their husband came first.
He should still come first.
Sometimes the kids are needy and loud and that's fine, but overall, husband came first.
Love your husband too.
Love ON your husband, don't just say you love him.
And don't put your kids wants above his needs.
When the kids are grown and gone who will you be left with?
That's right, this man you married. Know him, make him a priority.
Mothers are home-makers.
We make the house a home.
Proverbs 31 talks about working eagerly with our hands.
It talks about us working day and night.
It also talks about us being strong and smart and sewing and cooking and making and selling.
It does not say "she rises in the morning and sits on the couch with her kids until night and then throws a pizza in the oven. Then her husband came home and she barely looks his direction because she was playing with her kids."
But hey, "if all you did today was hug your kids then you accomplished enough" right?
If all you did was drive your kids to 5 different activities this afternoon because that's what they want then you're being a perfect mom, right?
If all you did was let your kids watch movies for 8 hours then you're a great mom because that's what they wanted to do, right?
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