Thursday, June 28, 2012

a pep talk for those looking for excuses

you've seen every ad for dieting (but maybe not this one)
pills, drinks, tea, vibrating belly bands (wtf?)
being fit and healthy is NOT a quick easy thing.
if it says "lose 10 pounds in 3 hours" or "lose 20 inches in a week"  you probably shouldn't even be looking at it
the first thing you should ask yourself is this "what do i eat?" and "what do i DO"
whats your verb? run? walk? jog? lift? spin? swim? ride?

don't give me excuses like "but i crave icecream and cheetos"
well guess what. stop eating crap and you'll stop craving it. your body isn't getting what it needs so you are craving everything. don't lie.
also, try drink this thing called WATER once in a while. not once in a while. all the time. pour the pop down the drain. stop drinking juice. its fruit flavored sugar water.
 its disgusting and you know it. stop drinking energy drinks. do you even know whats in those? stop adding fake creamer and sugar to your coffee. black coffee is really a beautiful tasting thing as long as you get good coffee. trust me. i know. i'm a coffee snob.
i've said this a bazillion times....but get the crap out of your house. DON'T stop for fast food just because you starved yourself all day and now you're going crazy with hunger. try eating breakfast. yeah. do that for a change.
 don't go grocery shopping when you're hungry


walking to the mail box doesn't count...even for me and my mailbox is a quarter mile walk
sweating and getting your heart rate up wont kill you...well most of you. sorry in advance for anyone with heart problems. i didn't mean to offend. but the rest of you, i did.
get out of breath
get stinky

try this for a month.
1 month
you'll be shocked and surprised at how awesome you feel
you might not be a skinny stick. Lord knows i'm not and never will be. but you will feel great and know you're healthy.
stop trying to take short cuts to your skinny jeans
a little discipline never hurt anybody

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Thursday, June 21, 2012

A Very Keldie Morning

520am - wakey wakey. kids are climbing and asking to play and asking for breakfast and fighting to see who gets to be under the covers and throwing pillows and falling off the bed and shaking hanks pack n play and pushing the vacuum around and unfolding my folded towels

take a deep breath

530am - run and crunch
enjoy the wind in your hair and the sounds of the birds waking up. look at the trees and the flowers and...oh wait. nevermind. get on the treadmill in the front half of the hot sweaty guest house and throw some toys at the kids to see how many miles you can get in before they start to get stir crazy. remind yourself just how much you love these tiny people and how someday you'll be able to go running all by yourself outside but you will be missing their little feet and their little hands trying to reach under your feet while you're pounding the belt. you will miss this. i promise.

630am - breakfast for the babes

645am - remind yourself that breakfast is important and scarf down some yogurt while the kids are actually sitting still

730am - pack sufficient amounts of diapers, epipens, and spanking spoons for a morning of errands

 - go to friends house to pick up free stuff (woot!), go to tractor supply, go to state farm office, go to farm stand and get an awesome amount of veggies for $4!! say what?!-
10am - put kids on back deck to play with their new toy from said friend


1010am - take a drink

1030am - sit by the window with some water and do some that word? it means studying up on herbs. at least it does now. or i guess it could also mean planting herbs.

1100amam - cut up the things you will need to make veggie soup and salad for dinner
i know you're probably saying "what?! soup! when its 100 degrees outside?!" but yes, its soup for dinner. the a/c is usually pretty cold when chris gets home because he likes it that way so i don't think anyone will notice...unless they go outside and try to eat the soup. then they might overheat. and die.
ok not really

1130am make yourself some meusli 

1145am - lavender and eleuthero tea time!

my new mental health tea blend. i think every mom should have this in her tea collection

first of 2 daily breathing treatments...and the 10 minutes of tv time that happened today.
 obviously hank doesn't really care about watching all dogs go to heaven

noon - lunch!

aaaaand naps
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