I've spent quite a bit of the past few months (maybe years?) being sad that I don't get to spend time doing the things that I used to do. I don't get much time to knit, I don't get much time to play my instruments, I don't get much time to actually shower for more than 60 seconds at a time.
This really REALLY upset me...until I realized something.
I'm a mother. A FREAKING MOTHER!
I get to do something some women never get a chance to do.
This time in my life isn't quiet cups of coffee or peaceful showers. It's not clean floors or finished laundry. It's not cute decorations on tables or long phone conversations. Its not sleeping in on a Saturday or cuddling with the husband any time I want.
And there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that.
This time in my life is tripping over toys on my way to pick up a hurt child.
It is gulping down cold coffee thats been sitting in the french press for an hour.
Its poop on my shirt 5 minutes into a church service.
It's 4 little bodies wedged between me and my husband in the bed, on the couch, while we're attempting to dance in the kitchen.
It's waking up for the 3rd time in an hour to nurse a needy baby.
One day I'll have cute decorations on my tables. One day I'll have 2 hours to play my piano. I'll be able to shower and pee alone.
One day....I wont have a tiny baby in the house or a toddler to teach shoe tying to. I wont have to tell a 4 year old to clean up the legos for the 10th time. I wont have to tell the ball of wrestling children to go out in the grass. I wont have to check little boys jean pockets for worms and rocks before putting them in the washer.
There is a time for reading Dr. Seuss 100 times in a day and then there is a time for sending kids away to highschool. There is NOT time to be upset over the fact that this season of my life is hard and different, beautiful and messy. So for now we will have "date nights" in our pajamas in our backroom after the kids have gone to bed. We will reach for eachothers hands over their cute little sleeping selves. We will enjoy the moments we have while we are in them and we will roll with the changes.
Wherever we are, we need to be all there.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.