Tuesday, November 13, 2012

hyperemesis and other things i get to think about all day

i will thank you all in advance for NOT sharing with me all the "cures" for throwing up you just google searched for me
i've heard them all
i've probably tried them all
every tea/herb i could find
some essential oils
ginger infused everything
motion sickness bands
blah blah blah
so unless you have a legit cure that you have actually tried, please keep your mouth shut.
ok thanks.
also, feel free to send me any leftover antiemetics you have lying around
i know, the "witch doctor" doesn't have a cure for this excessive puking?
well no
i don't
not yet anyway
maybe if i would have planned better for this
but how was i to know that i would be THIS sick?
basil/ginger/peppermint does help the regular symptoms
but once the puking starts theres nothing to be done
things i have learned:
don't stand up to quickly
sometimes don't stand up at all
crawling helps
don't roll over in bed unless you plan on doing it VERY slowly
don't cross your legs
don't turn your head too fast
don't wear tight pants (yay sweats!)
don't get too hot
don't get too cold
don't open the freezer
don't sit on a cold toilet
plug your nose when heating leftovers
plug your nose while cooking
plug your nose..always
avoid loud noises
don't squat
don't wear tight shirts
avoid coffee
don't run
avoid stupid people
that final one is the most important
just kiddng....a little
and now the question: why?
you mean why have kids if its not going to be perfectly beautiful and easy?
if its not 100% flowers and giggles and epidurals?
if you have to ask, i hope you don't have kids yourself.
too harsh?
i think not.
go ask any mother. well...any mother who loves her kids.
i guarantee she will say "its all worth it"
if not, please call DCFS
somehow, we women have this desire in us to grow babies no matter the cost
God given? i think yes.
if men were the ones to grow the babies, humans would already be extinct.
have any of you ever seen a man with a fever?
case in point
cats would have taken over the world
well more than they already have
we all know how terrible that would be
but not to worry folks
tomorrow i will have insurance again and will be able to get some meds by next week
i hope
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1 comment:

  1. I hope the medication helps! You are in our prayers!