Friday, May 25, 2012

playing and praying

i remember high school.
being a "good christian" was so easy
i went to camp a few times a year
i got to spend hours and hours reading my Bible and praying
just me and God.
life was relatively easy
of course there was normal high school drama but nothing crazy

fast forward to now
i don't get camp
in fact i'm hard pressed to find a few minutes alone with myself
i'll tell you a secret...this blog is written sentence by sentence with life happening in between :)

most mornings i don't get to wake up sit in a rocker by the window with my coffee and my Bible and my journal. in fact, very very rarely.
i pray on the run or while folding laundry 
i pray for the little ones
i pray for my husband
i pray for strength. lots of strength.
i pray for a peaceful home and the ability to make it that way

sometimes, at least for me, its hard to remember to be thankful. its always "ask ask ask" and sometimes i have to take a few minutes to make a small mental list of what i'm thankful for. and i have lots. i was inspired by one thousand gifts to start a gratitude journal. this has actually changed my attitude toward life. 

i scribble Bible verses I want to remember on little pieces of scratch paper and lose them within a week. usually to a small childs mouth or being flushed down the toilet by a curious little monster or stuck in the ac vent

during the past year we have rarely been able to go to church because of reed's little lungs (i'm not blaming him. don't take that the wrong way)

i do have to say though, i have grown more in the past 3 years than i did in all the years before that. i've been stretched and pushed and tested. oh the testing. daily. hourly in fact. can i make it through the next 10 minutes without breaking down? without yelling at someone? not on my own. thats for sure. 

i do not wish these little years away. there will be a time when my house is clean, when chris and i will be sitting alone drinking an entire cup of HOT coffee in the morning. many many years from now maybe but still. enjoy. breathe. thank. love. play. hug. kiss. teach. and play some more.

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1 comment:

  1. I definately needed to read this today! Between packing,cleaning as I go and my daughter creating a mess as I clean up I feel on the brink of cry and giving up. Jesus certainly sees us through these hard times and put people like you in our lives to show support when we really need it! Thanks!